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"Making Up Is Hard To Do" - Couples Therapy After Infidelity - Test
by Steven D. Solomon, Ph.D. and Lorie J. Teagno, Ph.D.

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1. According to Frederick, et al. (2007), a review of ethnographic accounts from 16 societies found that the most common cause of marital dissolution was: Help
A poor sex life.
 Awful in-laws.
 Infidelity.
 Religious differences.
2. Researchers Blow & Harnett (2005) took a comprehensive look at prevalence of infidelity and concluded that in any given year the likelihood of a relationship suffering from an affair is: Help
Low, probably less than a 20 percent chance.
 Very low, probably less than a 6 percent chance.
 High, probably greater than a 50 percent chance.
 Very high, probably greater than a 75 percent chance.
3. Which of the following demographic findings regarding infidelity is/are accurate: Help
In younger adults women are catching up to men in their incidence of infidelity.
 Greater income and education level are positively associated with incidence of infidelity.
 Women do not engage in infidelity primarily for sex.
 1 and 2
4. In a finding replicated by Shackleford et. al. (2008), two personality characteristics were highly associated with infidelity, low conscientiousness and: Help
High extroversion.
 Low empathy.
 Strong libido.
 Low agreeableness.
5. In a 2013 study (Cravens, et al.), the authors found that the emotional impact for the party who discovered their partner's online acts of infidelity was: Help
Minor, since it didn't involve physical contact.
 No less severe than acts committed in person.
 Worse than acts committed in person.
 Completely non-existent.
6. In a review by Lebow et al. (2012) of therapy outcome studies, he found that couples who experienced infidelity and remained married had ________ levels of marital stability and relationship satisfaction at the end of five years compared to the couples who experienced no infidelity: Help
Much lower
 Much higher
 Slightly lower
 Similar
7. In a 2014 study (Marins, Christensen & Atkins), it was found that couples are more likely to do the hard work in couples therapy and recover their relationship in both the short term and long term if: Help
The truth about the infidelity is told.
 The betraying partner continues to deny the infidelity.
 The infidelity is not talked about.
 The therapist insists on every minute detail of the infidelity be revealed.
8. The TRI Developmental Model of Long-Term Love Relationships has: Help
Two stages.
 Three stages.
 Four stages.
 None of the above.
9. The first stage in the TRI Developmental Model of Long-Term Love Relationships, Sweet Symbiosis, is: Help
Classic unhealthy symbiotic functioning.
 A powerful bonding stage that is vital for future LTLR health.
 One of the most wonderful, magical times of anyone's life.
 2 and 3
10. The key task for couples to accomplish in order to move through Soured Symbiosis is: Help
Achieving ongoing sexual intimacy.
 Achieving a healthy level of Conflict Intimacy.
 Learning to accept what they don't like about their partner.
 Learning to be completely truthful with each other.
11. The "acid test" indicating whether any Long-Term Love Relationship will thrive over time is: Help
The ability to develop healthy Conflict Intimacy.
 The ability to develop healthy Affection Intimacy.
 The ability to develop healthy Self Intimacy.
 Never going to bed mad at each other.
12. Differentiation in couples is best defined as: Help
The individual's ability to be separate from his/her partner and not experience anxiety.
 The individual's ability to define himself as a separate person, express this to his partner, and tolerate the anxiety or tension that their differences create.
 Having separate interests and friends from one's partner while also having a strong relationship.
 Viewing differences as natural and expecting to continue to grow as people over the course of the relationship.
13. Self Intimacy is taught by using: Help
The Emotional Self Awareness (ESA) Exercise.
 The Initiator-to-Inquirer (I-to-I) Exercise.
 The diagnosis of the type of Infidelity.
 The diagnosis of the developmental stage of the relationship.
14. Self Intimacy is so important to LTLR health because: Help
It helps each partner love themselves.
 It enables each partner to truly be intimate with the other partner.
 It helps sexual intimacy.
 It helps couples avoid fights.
15. Conflict Intimacy is best defined as the ability: Help
To communicate your negative feelings with your partner.
 To have conflict without arguing or hurting one another's feelings.
 To have differences and always arrive at mutually agreed upon solutions.
 Of both partners to express feelings constructively, listen to the partner's feelings with curiosity and respect, and stay connected in the process as the couple works toward a mutually satisfying hybrid solution.
16. The tool used to teach Conflict Intimacy is: Help
Communicating and working to compromise.
 Emotional Self Awareness (ESA).
 The Initiator-Inquirer (I-to-I) Exercise.
 Using emails to start difficult conversations.
17. Affection Intimacy is best defined as: Help
Good sex and frequent date nights.
 Being able to talk about your sexual desires and dislikes with your partner and having your partner listen with curiosity and respect.
 Being caring and considerate of your partner outside the bedroom and good sex in the bedroom.
 A rich combination of acts of caring, words of caring, non-sexual touch, and sexual touch.
18. Most relationships end because of the Third Deal Breaker, which is: Help
One or both partners never having loved the other.
 Too much pain caused and the love between the partners is killed.
 One or both partners is unwilling to take responsibility for his/her part in the relationship problems.
 All of the above
19. According to the TRI Model of Long-Term Love Relationships, LTLRs are fragile relationships that cannot recover from external stressors such as infidelity, substance abuse, and financial problems. Help
True
 False
 Only if the couple don't love each other enough
 Only if the couple doesn't have a fulfilling sex life
20. Infidelity is best defined as: Help
Kissing someone other than one's partner.
 Having sex with someone other than one's partner.
 Falling in love with someone other than one's partner.
 Not keeping the LTLR's implicit or explicit agreement of emotional and/or sexual exclusivity.
21. The responsibility for an infidelity rests with: Help
The betraying partner.
 Both partners.
 External stressors.
 None of the above.
22. The most accurate description of what powers an infidelity is: Help
Expressed feelings of anger and hurt.
 Feelings of inferiority and marital frustration.
 Boredom with the routine of marriage and sameness.
 Unrecognized and/or unexpressed emotions of anger, fear, or loneliness.
23. Infidelities of Fear are powered by the betraying partner's long-standing, deep-seated fear of: Help
Intimacy.
 Commitment.
 Unworthiness of love.
 Any of the above.
24. An Infidelity of Loneliness occurs when the LTLR is characterized by: Help
Being arrested for considerable time in Soured Symbiosis.
 Low Conflict Intimacy.
 Low Self Intimacy in the betraying partner, which allows their sense of loneliness to become very deep.
 All of the above.
25. The betraying partner who has an Infidelity of Anger is so angry because: Help
Their partner is abusive.
 They never learned how to deal with their hurt and anger in a healthy way.
 They have low Self Intimacy and low Conflict Intimacy skills.
 2 and 3
26. Which of the following is NOT one of the three main early infidelity couples therapy treatment issues? Help
Dealing with the betrayed partner's devastation
 Making sure each partner has a good divorce attorney
 Determining the betraying partner's earnestness
 LTLR and infidelity assessment
27. If the infidelity is ongoing, The LTLR can successfully heal and rebuild: Help
Sometimes
 Rarely
 Usually
 Never
28. The majority of couples who come to therapy are stuck in the ______ stage of relationship development: Help
Differentiation
 Sweet Symbiosis
 Soured Symbiosis
 Synergy
29. Accurate diagnosis of the type of infidelity will give the therapist what information vital to fashioning an effective treatment plan? Help
How close of tabs the betrayed partner needs to keep on the betraying partner
 The Three Intimacies strengths and weaknesses of the couple
 The role sex played in their LTLR problems
 All of the above
30. Even though the responsibility for the infidelity lies completely with the betraying partner, the betrayed partner needs to take equal responsibility for the rebuilding of the LTLR's intimacy structure: Help
Sometimes
 Never
 Only if they're a very giving person
 Always

 

 

  
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